A Slippery Slope

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Your hole is dry.  No worries: mine is too.  In addition to being among the final stops on food's journey through the body, the rectum and colon are responsible for absorbing water from waste so you pass solid stool. Unlike other pleasure-seeking holes in our anatomy, our butt needs some help in the lubrication department. Today's blog is all about lube as it pertains to wrecking your bum. Stick around a bit for my recommendation below. I started out remarkably unprepared in this department. The first time I took a fist (my own), it was with the help of Crisco shortening. It's a classic in the fisting world and I'm certainly not above using it from time to time, even today. For unknown reasons, when I began to put glass dildos and larger Doc Johnson toys in my butt, I grabbed the closest bedroom product that wouldn't break the bank: shea butter with Vaseline. Sure, it worked and certainly helped me take these toys, plus the baseball bat I kept in my closet. Yet even...
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Width, Girth, and Depth Reign

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Cetos 150 by Topped Toys

My lubed ass lips are barely able to contain my rosebud by the time the Cetos 150 caresses the walls of my rectum. After nearly an hour of increasingly-extreme butt play, my hole is a wet, dripping chasm. The first four ridges pass without any semblance of resistance and then, grabbing the sides of the stool, I pull myself onto this monster of a toy until the final ridge pops into place. My hole is 15 inches wide and every square inch of my rectum filled with platinum-cured silicone. Moans of pleasure escape my throat and it's all I can do to ride this beast for 10 seconds before I jump off and expose my innards.

The journey began in 2014. I noticed more often than not I'd affix the tag "gaping" to my gay porn searches. Watching a hard dick slide in and out of a welcoming hole was secondary to the delight I took in seeing the negative space left when the top pulled away. I knew I was innately a fist pig, though I'd yet to take more than four fingers. I plopped a racquetball into a condom and fucked my hole; I moved on to a black cone plug 5 inches 'round. Then, my first egg-shaped glass plug fell into place behind my tailbone. I needed more.

Thus the fister came out, looking for anything I could use to push my asshole to new limits. I squatted over a Louisville Slugger baseball bat, bent a double-ended dildo in half, fisted myself with Crisco, and bought bigger toys until finally I was loose enough to take a seat in a friend's sling. From then on, I wasn't holding back, amassing an ever-growing collection of toys a vanilla man would call impossible to take: Goliath, Grip, Gape Keeper, Cetos, Valac, the list goes on.

Now, I'm no longer the guy looking for gape videos. I'm living them. I've spent over a decade learning the ins and outs of prepping my ass to go bigger, wider, and deeper. Now I'm glad you've found your way here to see how with a bit of patience, a lot of lubrication, and some help from friends, a sheer, cavernous thrill can belong to anyone. Stick around—I've got a lot to say.

Welcome to the Guru of Gape.

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